Spooky Buns

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What do you get when you over-dye your buns hun? Green poop apparently! Burger King’s recent Black Bun Halloween Special Hamburger became so much more than ‘special’ when it was revealed–particularly on Twitter in full visual g(l)ory that–after eating up that black mess, people were finding the brightest of green surprises in their toilet bowls.

WHA?? NOT COOL MAN.

Am I boring that I don’t want to chow down on that Halloween Special just to see what happens? Though, seriously, how appropriate would it be to re-release the Black Bun in March, just in time for St Patrick’s Day?!

A statement from BK offered up that the amount of dye used to make the Black Buns was within safe food guidelines, but really, does that clear it as being good to eat? Nope. No way.

While TRYING to push the green poop visual as far to back of my mind as possible, I started thinking about what started our lifelong crushes on burgers. Our love for the patty and bun has led down, down and down a long highly successful financial path to this crap we are now seeing dished up in the big chains ‘restaurants’. And while that classic era of the roadside diner 25c Burger and Malt has been mainly lost forever to the big chain restaurants with no soul or character, the taste and quality doesn’t have to be. I drove completely off route once just to have a cheese burger along 66 at the Burger Hut in Needles, CA. Sitting in its red and white checkered napkin in a little basket with fries, that burger was perfection! The bun had been grilled, the cheese tasted real, and the shake was made with real malt powder. It was simple, it was fabulous! Oh I could eat five of them right now!

It wasn’t just the burger that had me going out of my way to eat there, it was the charm of that roadside diner, it was the warm hello and friendly service – I could tell the burger had been made with my eating pleasure in mind. With so many Restaurants again doing decent, well -ade fresh burgers, I can see why the big chains are scrambling for gimmicks, like the Black Bun, and new recipe ideas. We consumers are getting smarter about what and where we eat.

The mass produced ‘churn ‘em out by the tonne full’ style of food is just so unappealing now. We want to eat at cafés and restaurants that have been built with love by owners passionate about food and it’s history; chef’s paying homage to the classics, while improving on them with delicious new greats. But that doesn’t mean to say you need to become a complete burger snob. I don’t need no blue cheese, kale and quinoa on a gluten-free bun to be having a party in my mouth! Just like in Needles, I still like it simple Baby – Bun, patty, cheese, pickles and mustard…sounds kinda mc’familiar huh? The difference is I want mine to be made with fresh ingredients, by someone that wants me to enjoy my meal, not something concocted up in a lab, made to prolong ingredient life. Throw on some lettuce and tomato if you like – I won’t complain!

But, you know, just don’t go crazy and add sliced beets and pineapple. It’s just plain wrong…and an apparent Australian Hamburger must-have! I think it’s hilarious when an Aussie is freaked out by bacon and syrup on waffles, but then will go and do crazy silliness like plop slice beetroot on their hamburgers.

Are you salivating yet? Let’s imagine

When it comes to the humble hamburger what are your go-to add on’s and condiments? You have the entire fully stocked kitchen to choose from – go for it, tell me how you would rework the Classic and make it a New Great!

… just don’t add Beetroot! 😛

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